Christine Gabrièlle

This piece is a short conversation between adriennce maree brown (“amb” below) and Ingrid LaFleur. Per Ingrid’s website, she is a “curator, design innovationist, pleasure activist and Afrofuturist committed to exploring and implementing forward-thinking solutions across multidisciplinary industries including but not limited to art, technology, education, social enterprise, and finance.”

amb. What is your pleasure philosophy?

Ingrid. I believe every moment of every day should be a pleasurable experience. If it is not, then it is time to question what is happening and why you decided to endure it. (p.100)

That question is like… WOAH! Because we do have the power to change our circumstances, right? And it’s like, if it’s not giving you pleasure, do something else; if it’s not making you happy, do something else. Figure out why it’s not making you happy and what you would rather be doing and then do that. Yes, “easier said than done,” I am witness #1 for that, and I know some things are literally out of our control, but the truth of the matter is that we do have some power in changing what we endure.

An example: I recently decided to wake up at 5am instead of 6:30am. I was inspired by a friend and her before-work productivity and wanted to see how it would feel for me—besides, the opening and closing of the garage door (which is on the other side of my bedroom wall) between 5:15-6:10am generally disrupts my sleep anyway.

I wanted to enjoy slow mornings instead of jumping up and getting busy with my day, I wanted to incorporate morning movement without feeling like it was interrupting my to-do list (because it was never actually on my to-do list), and I wanted to see what kind of uptick in productivity I would experience (result: reading more of this book).

This was one way of changing what I’m enduring (no more half-sleep frustration at the opening and closing of the garage door. I’m already up.).

So, the question I need to make a practice of asking myself is “What am I enduring that’s not pleasurable?” I mean, not everything should be super exciting and fireworks, but it should not feel bad or dull or frustrating on an ongoing basis. 

So, on a day-to-day basis, when I find myself feeling bored—why am I enduring boredom? What else should I be doing? Writing is the answer, and I know that. But when it comes to writing I have my process and my [loose] schedule and I want to leave it that way for the most part, so let me find other pleasureable ways to fill that time when client work is slow and I’m home by myself. Like working on this series (because blog writing is not the same for me as short story writing), baking something for the fam, clearing the air-dried dishes from the counter because I love a clean kitchen, or even just calling to check on a friend.

Ingrid (cont). I also believe pleasure generated through our own power should resonate as far into the future as possible. If I eat something that tastes super-delicious but makes me sluggish and tired and sends me into a spiral of body shaming, then that was not a pleasurable experience, no matter how juicy and delicious it was… Ultimately, love for the self is the deepest pleasure we deny ourselves.

Below is part of her response to a question about her daily practices of pleasure.

Ingrid. …Also, accomplishing work goals set for the day brings pure joy and gives me permission to play. (p.101)

I like the idea of accomplishing work being a pleasurable experience because it allows you space for more pleasurable experiences instead of procrastinating. “Aww man, now I gotta do this tomorrow” becomes a weight on the mind and body instead of “ah, yes, I accomplished this, I got this done and now I can go do something fun.”

And, granted, there are some things that cannot be done in a single day—whether within or outside of our control—and we have to push it off, but just viewing work as part of the pleasurable activities we get to enjoy on a daily basis is actually really cool.

🖤